Ambiguity of Languages Leading to Dangerous Confusion
There is no language that is perfectly clear at all times. This is obvious. However some ambiguous parts of languages can really get you into a sticky situation. Say, for example, you are in Japan and in a room with a dead body and a murderer and the police walk in. You say "He killed him!" in Japanese, which is "Koroshimashita!" The police grab you, cuff you and you go to court, get convicted of murder, and die. The problem is "Koroshimashita!" also means "I killed him!" See the problems here? You, my friend, have just become another victim of LANGUAGE AMBIGUITY. Wham! It was a problem 500 years ago and it is still a problem today. Another potential awkward time is when you are in Denmark and you go to the hairdressers and ask for them to cut your throat, which is "Finner et sted bli" and they begin to cut your hair. The funny thing is, cut my hair is "Finner et sted bli" as well! So they cut your hair when all you want is to be dead! I know, you have become another victim. Similarly while in Turkey you need to be careful when shopping. If you say "Kalmak ne zaman I gitgidmek" to a cashier, you are saying "I plan to steal all this stuff" which is the same as "I'll buy this stuff." And if you're in Turkey and you are caught stealing, they cut off your kids' arms and legs, and if you have no kids with you, then they cut off the arms and legs of the nearest man to you. And when they cut off that guy's arms and legs, you can imagine how mad he's going to be at you. Now perhaps you are thinking, Joel, this isn't really an opinion, just a less than awesome fact of life. But, I say, my opinion is in my proposal! I think there are two options here. One is that everyone stops talking, which obviously is no fun. Second is that we could abolish all laws, that way, when we tell cops that the other guy just killed that dead guy, they don't care if it was him or you who did it, frankly, they're not even cops anymore, no laws remember? And the store owner doesn't care if you plan to steal ALL of his stuff. Well maybe he still cares if you steal his stuff, but you can do it anyway as long as you're bigger than him. This no laws plan doesn't solve our Turkish problem of when you are trying to ensure your own demise by suicide by hairdresser, but to be blunt, you're pretty stupid to try that anyway.
Joel Anderson, November 21, 2004
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>PS, none of the above was true, except for the first part about Japanese. Koroshimashita really does mean I killed him and it also means he killed him. It also means you killed him, fancy that.